My Christ

I was brought up as a Christian in a Christian family, going to church every Sunday. As a kid I went from Sunday school to attending the grown-up Church (siting on those hard benches, with one pepermint and some small change for the offertory), did my weekly catechism with the pastor and did my mandatory Psalm presentation at school. But I had so many questions and nobody was willing to address, to answer or even tried to understood what I meant.

The Dutch Reformed church in Nijeveen, was a magnificent church. Not big… but big enough for the 1000+ villagers. Build in the 15th century. With a roof structure consisting fully out of wooden beams, an ancient organ and a massive tower with a proper bell, it was nothing less than a monument.. 

I really loved that church. Some church-goers were as old as the bell and I was a bit scared of them. Especially when one of my siblings had their birthday around church time. They would also include me in their celebrations. Normally by pinching my cheek, followed by an uncontrollable shake of it, while they mumbled “How nice… you will be next soon….”. How big was the temptation to do exactly the same to them when they attended their neighbour’s funeral service.

In 1976 my dad was the project manager for the restauration of the church’s pulpit area. I was so proud of my dad when he and the team unearthed two tombstones, one from the 16th century and the other from the 19th century. They both were incorporated into the church floor. How exciting!

That memory came back to me early 2020, with the funeral of my father. His coffin was standing in between the two tombstones, right in front of the renovated pulpit. 

My mom passed away not even 11 months later and her coffin must have been standing at the same place. I unfortunately, was not allowed to attend my mom’s funeral due to the Covid travel restrictions. But somehow I am ok with that, knowing that they lay side by side on the cemetery field of the Dutch Reformed church in Nijeveen, with God at their sides and for ever in my heart.

I consider myself a reborn Christian, who re- discovered his peace and comfort in Christ during a rough period between 2016 and 2020. 

Just a few months before my dad passed away, I wrote my Christian re -birth experience down and I want to share it with myself… and with you.

PLEASE!! Come into my life… by Jan van Ommen, Jan 01 2020.

I must have been 13 years old when my parents agreed that it would indeed be better for me NOT to attend any further church services. I had too many questions, disagreements, arguments and brought too many unchristian confusions with me, that the reply of “just try to believe son” simply would not do it anymore.

But what if Hell was a realistic option? Would I be able to handle that? As a thirteen-year-old boy? What was it again that the referent said? I was not ready to throw the towel into the ring and move God and Christ out of my life for good. I was rebellious enough to demand certain freedoms in exercising my religious convictions, but way to insecure to permanently exclude God and Christ from my heart. So, I moved them to the cellars of my, cross, thorns-699480.jpg

I did continue consulting them when scared or habitually but refused to acknowledge their residence down in the cellars. They continued to provide me with unsolicited advice and guidance throughout my adult years, but I declined to acknowledge their existence. 

They shouted loud and clear and most of the time I listened to my “gutfeel” but many times I demoted their voices further down the cellar.

Now at an age of 53 I hear them shout so loud that I must listen to what they really try to tell me…

woman, man, abstract-7486702.jpg“Look at your life Jan! You are physically lesser abled, divorced and still in a continuing annoyance, medically boarded (work-disability), accused of the worst atrocities any father and husband can face, far away from your children and your mother is dealing with a terminal brain tumor. Where do you think you get the strength from? And your positive stance on life? Who truly keeps you accelerating instead of making you quit the journey? STOP BEING SO STUBBORN!”

And after spending some valuable long-distance time with a dear friend and seeing the joy and peace in her eyes when she speaks about her relation with God, Christ and the Bible, it was time for me to descend the steps down the cellar and find God and Christ. 

I need to find them… I need to ask them for forgiveness… I need to ask them for direction… I need to feel their advice… I need to hear their approval… I need them and all they bring.

castle, padlock, metal-1290860.jpgWAIT… where did I put the keys…? And how deep and with what darkness will I have to descend? I hear God and Christ singing the song to guide me the way…

I do not seek healing from my sickness. I am content with what I have and have not. What I seek is an understanding of who you both are and what I am supposed to do to fulfil my life’s journey the best I can. I seek a better understanding of how my role requires me to be how I am. And how I can utilize all my strength to come closest to the purpose you have foreseen for me.

Thank you! I am on my way… Just keep the lights on while I am descending and keep singing… Please?

Joyce Sims – Come Into My Life

(Joyce Sims, 1987, as the lyrics sounded in my head)

I hear them singing… music always brightens up my ways… the lyrics are so inviting…

Come into my life, I’ll open the door if you
Come into my life, boy I adore you
And I will treat you right
And I’ll show you sweet mellow days that you want and need
For you hold the keys to my life
Good times will flow if you make our love strong and tight
Together as one not two, we’ll shine like diamond ice, uh
And I’ll show you sweet mellow days that you want and need

Because I can brighten up your days
And when you’re feeling bad I’ll put a smile on your face
Can you tell me what price must I pay
To make you see things my way
Don’t wait, don’t wait, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Come into my life, I got so much love to show you
Come into my life, boy I adore you
Come into my life, I got so much love to show you
Come into my life, boy I adore you

Reading the Bible is… difficult. I tried it many, many times, but to no avail. Let me correct that…

Reading the Bible is not that difficult on itself. If you are literate you can do it. The difficulty comes with the interpretation of what you just read. Understanding the context of a verse or a book seems pretty crucial to me. Not only in what context it has been written, but also how applicable the message is to me now. But picking up any version or translation of the Bible and start reading it, turned out to be too difficult. 

commandment, thou, shalt-1431061.jpgAnd then there is that very confusing element called OLD and NEW. Some tell me to skip OLD and dive into the NEW immediately. But why? I tried to start at the OLD and yes, very confusing indeed, and very… non-Christian…? I don’t believe God wants us to believe that He is a cruel HE. But what happens in the OLD, is pretty cruel… or not? It is… confusing me, isn’t He? Or at least the writers do.

Anyway, I searched for a good resource to explain to me what the Bible actually is. A simple question, I thought. NOT! How wrong was I… But I did find a very complete and entertaining source, covering almost every angle of the Bible, predominantly through the use of visual storytelling.

It is called the Bible Project. Their mission statement addresses my needs perfectly… “Our mission is to help people experience the Bible as a unified story that leads to Jesus.”

I am not here to convince you about what God is, but you are free to enjoy their explanation on what the bible is. 

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God bless you all.

Bible Project – The Story of the Bible

More available on

On Saturday, May the 11th 2024, during an intense yet very relaxing Victory training from Every Nations church, I had my name enlisted for Baptism. 

Only while lying in bed that evening I realised that that would be the list for next day’s Sunday Baptism celebrations.  

And after some panic around the logistics, the wheelchair, in/out, my hair, towels, change opportunities, supra pubic catheter safety, I felt so at ease with the thought of being cleansed and closer to God!

A next step on my journey.

A wise man once said…

“Just do it here.”

Feel free to share…

Thank you!

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